ROFLMAO UNO
by naonaonao
Summary: Crossover between Fullmetal Alchemist, Pokemon, Naruto, Barney, and Dora the Explorer. COMPLETE Randomness, along with somewhat of a developed plot and three OCs. If you're looking for a good laugh, read it! [For Apple Seal] Discontinued as of now.
1. Chapter 1

This story is dedicated to Kayla, as an apology for ditching her the other day. And just cuz she's awesome and deserves it.

Keep in mind that this story is one-hundred-percent off the top of my head and I'm just writing as I go. Try not to take it TOO seriously. Also, I am writing on WordPad, so if there are any random typos... ignore them and get on with your life. :D

Thanks.

**X**

"Are you sure? You need THEM to finish this?"

"You're questioning me. You're questioning my expiriment."

"Maybe.. just a little..."

"You shouldn't do that, Toleda."

"..."

"Can I play, too, Seven?!"

"Click, shut up. We don't need you right now."

"No, Seven. He could transport the mushrooms..."

"Good point. Click, you can play."

"What do I get to do?"

**X**

_You have been invited to attend a special dinner at the Yobmoorhsum Mansion on Friday the Thirteenth. This offer is not optional, nor threatening. You may bring one guest. Transportation will be provided._

**X**

A dark-haired teenager stood at the head of a long, chesnut-colored table. Dressed in baggy, black pants covered in chains and another black shirt topped with a blood-red tie, Seven stood at 6'1", and, well-hidden by his shirt, were numerous black and red tattoos of different designs, all covering hs chest and back. He turned his head to the side, ice blue eyes resting on a red-haired girl, sitting in a chair next to him.

Unlike her friend, Toleda had a personality like a firework and temper to match her hair. Bright blue eyes shown from under unbrushed red hair, and, unlike the rest of the house residents, her attire consisted of a grey and black sweatshirt and black leggings. She wasn't wearing any shoes, but rather green socks, which were hidden under the table.

The two watched as their many guests piled in the doorway, there must have been over one-hundred. Of course, not yet had their 'special' guests arrived-- in which the table was reserved for in the first place.

"Hey, man, PAAAARTAY!"  
"Dude, where's the stereo?"  
"Food?! There's no food!"  
"LOLZ IMA GUD RPER"

**X**

Glancing at his list, Seven frowned. Only three of the five guests had arrived, and only one of the three had brought a guest. He then turned his attention to the table set for twelve, which would only be occupied by ten, or less. Not good-- this would mean wasting food, which was known to irritate the chef.

Currently, at the table, the seven seated here himself, Toleda, am emo-looking, dark-haired preteen with a bored expression on his face, a small mexican girl and her naked monkey, save for a pair of red boots, and a large, purple dinosaur.

A glance at the clock. The other two were at least fifteen minutes late, and they really needed to get started. He saw his redheaded friend stand up, and scurry over to the emo child.

"So. How long have you been emo?"  
"Hn."  
"I asked your a question!"  
"Hn."  
"ANSWER ME."  
"Hn."  
"...retard."  
"I hate my life."  
"WELL, GOOD FOR YOU!"  
"Hn."

Pause.

Awkward silence.

A knock on the door, and Seven stood to answer it. On the other side, there stood another dark-haired boy, but, unlike the emo, he wore a sheepish expression, along with a hat. And, there seemed to be a yellow mouse-like creature attatched to it. Next to him was a taller girl, orange hair in a side ponytail.

"One guest, sir." Seven instructed.

"But... Pikachu's not a guest!"

"Peek at _what_?"

"..."

"..."

**X**

When the guest incident was settled and everyone was sitting down (minus the other late invitee), Seven chose to stop waiting, and begin.

"I suppose you are all wondering why I called you here. That matter is not important as of now. I hope you have enjoyed the provided transportation from your dimensions to mine. Food will be served in a few moments. Until that time arrives, I you may take your time and become aqquainted. As you can see; we have one missing guest. When he arrives, please let him in. Toleda will be able to assist you." With that, he stood up and left.

The Mexican girl opened her mouth. "I'm Dora! Have you seen my monkey, Boots?" She asked, referring to the creature sitting next to her.

"He's right there." The dark-haired hatted child pointed out.

A random arrow appeared and clicked on Boots. Then, out of nowhere, a theme song-like tune began playing, accompanied by vocals. "Da-da-da-da-da Dora! Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo Dora! (yeah!) Dora, Dora, Dora, the Explorer! (Dora!) Super, Super, Super Explorin' Dor--"

"OMFGMAKEITSTOP!" Toleda suddenly exclaimed, clutching her head.

"That was unnessacary! Hee-hee!" The purple dinosaur suddenly stated.

"Who're you?" The child with the hat asked.

"I'm Barney! And I loooooove you!" The dinosaur exclaimed. At this, the boy responded with a VERY confused/creeped-out face.

"Are you a boy or a girl?" Boots asked Barney.

"I... I'm... not.. sure!" Barney exclaimed, then exploded. Bits of purple and green scattered the room.

The orange-haired girl screamed, Dora and Boots began singing, and the emo hn'd.

Toleda simply ran into the other room and shouted, "SEVEN!!! ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS EXPLODED, AND I AM SO NOT CLEANING IT UP!"

**X**

About six minutes later, another knock was heard. Toleda rushed to answer it, and there stood a portable-sized, blond, red-cloaked boy and a very tall suit of armor.

"Brother, are you sure we have the right address?" The armor asked, a timid voice echoing inside of the hollow cage.

"Of course you do!" Toleda answered for him. "Welcome to the Yobmoorshum Mansion! Please follow me!!" A pause. "HEY! NUMBER AFTER SIX!!! THE REST OF THEM ARE HEEEEEERE!!"

**X**

**X**

I actually didn't intend for this to be a multi-chaptered story. There will be about two more chapters, then it'll be done. Um... I actually have this one sort of planned out.

I didn't mean to offend any Dora or Barney fans.


	2. Shaptah Tuu

Here's chapter two. Again, written on WordPad-- typos galore.

OMFG, I'm actually continuing something.

Miracle.

**X**

The chatter amongst the guests hadn't died down quite yet, but somehow became constant annoyance for everyone except Dora and Boots.

"Look! It's a suit of armor! Can you say armor? Say armor! Say armor, please! Say armor!"

"Who are you talking to?"

"Um... um... say armor!"

"...No."

**X**

Moments after Dora had scolded Misty for punching her in the shoulder ("That's naughty! Don't do it again, please!"), Seven arrived, carrying a tray of food, followed by another, taller man, who was ready to set out the entrees. They were both holding them too high to see what was actually on the platters, but everyone expected it to be a somewhat regular meal; conisting of a variety of food items, each from a different food group. Unfortunately, that is not what they received.

No, on the table was neither an assortment of food or anything people would eat on a regular basis, anyway. On the table there was only one thing.

Mushrooms.

Red, deadly-looking, mushrooms.

"Are you sure these are edible...?" Misty asked, casting Seven a weary glance.

"Of course. I consume these mushrooms on a daily basis; nothing is wrong with me." Seven answered, his tone void of most emotion.

Dot, dot, dot.

"I'll try one." Ash offered, picking up a mushroom. He _was_ hungry, after all. Without hesitance, he shoved nearly the whole plant into his mouth and chewed.

Oh yeah, you bet it was intense.

You can just hear the intense music playing.

As everyone stared at the young Pokemon trainer. Intensely.

I bet you're wondering what will happen next.

OMG.

Wow... we really got sidetracked there.

The boy swallowed, and seemed fine for the time being. "See? It's not poison or anything." Seven pointed out, rolling his eyes.

"It was actually kind of--" Ash fainted, right there on the spot.

"Could've been drugged, though."

**X**

"What the hell was that?!" Edward exclaimed, confused at the happenings around him.

"Dora!" Boots screamed, alarmed. "He said a naughty word!"

"A naughty word?!" Dora The Annoying asked. "Naughty words are supposed to be censored! What do we do to people who say naughty words?" She spoke to nobody in-particular, staring straight at nothing.

"Shut UP, Dora the Sexplorer!" Toleda ordered. "Nobody CARES."

"Dora, Dora!" Boots chanted. "Dora, I think she's working with Swiper the F--"

"He's not breathing." Misty interrupted, referring to her friend.

"sux2bu lol" Alphonse told her. No, actually, I lied. He actually just said, "OMFG!"

No, I lied again. Alphonse didn't really say anything relevant enough to put here.

"So he's dead," Edward stated.

"Dead?! Oh no!" Dora wailed.

"Hn," Sasuke told them all.

"That was irrelevant and it won't help with the dead kid." Toleda told him.

"Hn," Sasuke replied.

"CAN YOU SAY ANYTHING BESIDES HN?!"

"Fn,"

**X**

"His pulse is slow, but he's alive." Seven told them.

"How can you tell? He didn't have a heartbeat..."

"No, he's alive."

"He is not, Seven! You poisoned him!"

"Toleda, that's a lie and you know it."

"It is not!! SEVEN! I've told you not to poison people!"

"I didn't poison him. His system was simply too weak to digest the mushrooms correctly."

"SEVEN! CAN I PLAY?!"

"Click, not now. Please go back upstairs."

"Seven, I'm BORED. I helped you, now let me play! Look, you even have extra chairs!"

**X**

Three down; only Dora, Boots, Misty, Edward, and Alphonse were left. Chaos was sure to continue.

"There is no WAY I'm eating that stuff!" Edward refused, eyeing the supposedly poisonous plants.

"Brother, don't be rude." Alphonse scolded, shaking his helmet-head-whatever for emphasis.

"Did you see what they did to that kid?! I'm not gonna eat one after that!"

(Obviously, it's because he's almost as shrimpy as Ash and his system wouldn't be able to withstand the awesomeness of that mushroom, either.)

**X**

"Thank you for staying for dinner; a complimentary tour of the Yobmoorshum Mansion is next on the schedule." Seven announced.

"SEVEN! Can I come on the tour?!" The same cherry-haired boy from before jumped up and down, grey eyes pleading.

"No, Click. You already know your way around here. Why would you need a tour?"

"I CAN BE CO-TOUR GUIDE!"

"If Pom will let you-- which I doubt, because he's very strict about this sort of thing--" The teen was interrupted as the small boy asked Pom, the tour guide, if he could crash the tour.

"Sure, little dude, the more, the merrier!"

"YAAAAAAAY!"

**X**

The place was huge, like a castle, even, and completely spotless. Pom hadn't bothered to stop in the room where the _other_ guests were having _their_ party, but merely explained that it was a large room with a disco ball and numerous speakers. Then, after climbing the huge staircase ("Can you say staircase? Say staircase, please! Say staircase!"), the group found that the upstair was much less modern-looking than the lower story. One may even describe it as looking vintage, as if it came straight out of the 1700's.

There were numerous furnishings, vases, and dolls, all with a thick coat of dusting. It seemed as though there hadn't been anyone up here in _years_.

"This is the upstairs!" Click informed them all. "A ghost lives here!"

"Kid, don't tell them that!" Pom scolded.

"A...ghost?" Misty asked, a tinge of fear in her voice.

"Yes! He's the ghost of Toledo Oemgi Miki Lancelot Yamkin Bill The Second!" Click confirmed. "He was Toleda's great, great, gre--"

"Dude, shut up!"

**X**

"And, like, over here is where everyone sleeps and... stuff... but like, only the people who live there... and there are like, six guest rooms, I think?"

"Are we spending the night here...?" 

"Uhhhh... I dunno."

**X**

As the group neared a darker hallway, Pon paused. "There are two different halls you can take. Left or right. To the left, you will see a variety of picture hanging. There is a piano at the end of the right. The seven of us will be taking the hallway to the _left_."

The recipiants of the statement nodded, and all made their way to the left, where there was a small lightbulb flickering in the middle of the hallway. And, as promised, there _were_ different paintings hanging on the wall. Some of still life, some abstract, and some portraits of different people (mostly women; there were only three of men). And, it was during the silence that Alphonse spoke.

"...where's Pon?"

"That creep! He ditched us!"

**X**

**X**

Hahaha. This one took me like three days to finish, since I was so busy.


End file.
